Stupid dA journal memes

Post the stupid dA journal meme's here for us to enjoy AND to do! Huzzah!

RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

-> How you do the Letter Meme:
Type the correct phrase into the correct underlined spot.
Use Curly’s letter as an example.

Dear Necroman100 (Insert someone's name)

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1) you’re a pervert. I think I realized it (2) on the first of May, (3) in your apartment and I saw you (4) pour syrup on (5) Bill Clinton. I'm sure you're (6) ashamed enough to understand (7) that I got a sex-change. I'm returning ( your ring to you, but I'll keep (9) the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I (10) get sick when I think of your (11) eggplant-fetishism.

(12)Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Curly

Here are the number inserts:

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My pen pal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Over joyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbor Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Dear Kat!

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (our affair is over) I think I realized it (when I threw up) (At the mental hospital) and I saw you (carve your initials into) (Donald Duck). I'm sure you're (senile) enough to understand (how awful I've felt). I'm returning (the cut toenails), but I'll keep (your collection of butterflies) as a memory. You should also know that I (told my psychiatrist about) (a passionate interest in mice).

(Fuck off now,)
Laney

Dear Charli

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your sister. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me and I saw you outside of Chicago pull the clothes off my avocado plant. I'm sure you're (6)cowardly enough to understand that I'm open. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep (9) your photo as a memory. You should also know that I always have felt dirty before the incarnation as an Eskimo

With ease
Yeti

This is from my brother

Dear Lari,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1) you’re a pervert. I think I realized it (2) When I changed tennis shoes, (3)under a state of trance and I saw you (4) carve your initials into (5.)my fart balloon. I'm sure you're (6) senile enough to understand (7) that Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning ( your darth vader poster to you, but I'll keep (9) the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I (10)that I never openly mocked your (11)new life as a clone.

(12)Good luck on your short term leave from Jail,
Charlie

Dear Mo,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our affair is over. I think I realized it when I tripped on sesame seeds at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on the crazy monk. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your ring, but I'll keep your left ear. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about a passionate interest in mice.
In pain,
Lari

Dear Sarah

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (our horoscope doesn't match). I think I realized it (that night), (with George Bush and his wife) and I saw you (sit on) (my best friend's father). I'm sure you're (ashamed) enough to understand (that your Honda sucks). I'm returning (the pictures from LA) to you, but I'll keep (your mom) as a memory. You should also know that I (was interviewed by the times about) your (our friendship)

(Go and drown yourself)
Emerald
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<em>AzurEmerald</em>- I love this song!