The Norris Family

Chuck Norris had Mo, Lari and Nefnee, and Curly, in that order. Then Lari married Jack Sparrow and had Stevi, but Lari and Jack divorced. Soon after she married Shemp, and together they had Clay Aiken, but Shemp divorced Lari and married Mo, and they had Kevinin and Ashley. Curly is dating Alfonzo, the stepson of Dr. Phil, and Nefnee married Shane, but they divorced. And now Lari's engaged to Jasper, and that's pretty much all so far, am I missing anything?

Lari is pregnant with Jasper "Junior" Jay Hale, named after jasper and Grandpa Jay (chuck norris's father). Nefnee is currently in an open relationship with Mercutio, who's bi, and very flamboyant. Shemp apparently f&$@#% everyone at their school.

Correction, I HAD the baby last Friday. Curly was there. And Shane was kind of there, so he's the godfather. Are we confused enough now?

No oddly enough I can actually follow what the hell you all are saying.

And all the while I'm not involved in any of this at all.

We could rectify that... -glances at Mo, Curly, and Nefnee- Wanna be Curly's bitch?

umm no I'm no one bitch.. except maybe my g/f.. and that is only a maybe.

AHAHA yes you are your girlfriend's bitch!

And she does own my soul, so that's how you're indirectly pulled into this.

...I still need someone to be my bitch. Any volunteers?

And then there's silence...

Now Yeti, I figured it out!

[20:03] nefnee: i AM the devil
[20:04] nefnee: yeti is god, and his girlfriend owns the devil's soul
[20:04] nefnee: his son is jesus, whose soul i am bargaining for

well as I told Lari in chess.. I am everything by a very twisted bit of logic.

But today Katie and Charli said you were god and the devil and I was like, "NO he can't be, I called it"

Do I need to explain to you how it works that I'm both?

FAIL! As I have said before, Chuck Norris is God is Satan, and our dad. QUIT SCREWING WITH THE ORDER!

No. no no no.

Is that no directed at me Nefnee? Or Lari?

I guess both, but mostly lari. Because if you were god and god is chuck Norris and chuck Norris is our dad, that would make you our dad, which is just... wrong.

NO what is just wrong is I proved to Lari that she is somehow her own father.

HA thats hilarious
A new thing we're doing is she calls me on the phone when shes on the short bus and freak out the kids by talking about our weird family. Like how shes married to Jasper Hale, our father is Chuck Norris, and I kneel for Jesus... wait.

Yeah.. that last part.. is umm.. a little dirty sounding if you ask me.

And that's why I added the "wait"

Yeah, they think I'm cheating ho thanks to you, Jeff. XD
Me: No, I'm with Jasper Hale, bitches. So I can't be dating Steph. -calls Nef- Hey Jeff!
Little Kids: You shouldn't be talking to other guys when you're with Jasper!
Me:...-facepalm-

Next time, pretend to talk to dr phil! I'll whip out the soundboard!
We need to make a jasper hale soundboard...

Oh yes... -evil laughter inserted here- That will be AMAZING!! MOOHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! XD And how're we gonna make a Jasper Hale one? O.o