Funny Quotes

Me: I forgot. I promised my friend I'd let him touch something of mine at Lunch.
Chem teacher: WHAT?!?!
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AzurEmerald- The thing he wanted to touch was in my pants. My iPod.....

Because Lari asked me to post this:

(2:22:43 PM) alex180193: Tomorrow we shall poke Lari!
(2:22:50 PM) The Moon Princess: otays!
(2:24:42 PM) alex180193: I'm debating Lari's sex again.
(2:25:01 PM) The Moon Princess: why? We all know she has boobs
(2:25:15 PM) alex180193: So does AJ.
(2:25:35 PM) The Moon Princess: but he's allowed to have them because he's chunky
(2:25:43 PM) The Moon Princess: and those are moobs
(2:25:53 PM) alex180193: What's to say that Lari doesn't have the same thing?
(2:26:02 PM) The Moon Princess: she's not chunky
(2:26:41 PM) alex180193: But she's flabby enough to feel when you poke her in the stomach.
(2:26:55 PM) The Moon Princess: is she as chunky as aj?
(2:27:15 PM) alex180193: I didn't say chunky, I said flabby.
(2:27:40 PM) The Moon Princess: but her boobs are bigger than her flab
(2:28:43 PM) alex180193: Have you actually measured?

We should take a ruler tomorrow and measure them both.
(2:29:46 PM) The Moon Princess: right
(2:30:37 PM) alex180193: Right.
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<em>AzurEmerald</eM>- Happy now?

Its not light enough outside to see the lights. I can't see the lights in this darkness.

"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."

Laney-Spoon wrote:

"If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters."

(9:12:09 PM) The Moon Princess: look at my new post on NG
(9:13:55 PM) alex180193: It manages to be cruel, evil, hilarious, and arousing all at the same time.
(9:14:01 PM) The Moon Princess: exactly

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<em>AzurEmerald</em>- And you can all guess how.

We will blow through this. (apparently funny to my gf.. I don't think it is)

Quote :

It's not like you to turn away
From all the bullshit I can't take

Misheard as:

Quote :

It's not like you to turn away
From the positions that we take

Tessy and I couldn't stop laughing //_^

Also, a conversation on the radio [on Waffle-in-a-Tube]:

Quote :

You just squeeze it and it comes out
....
Man: It's organic!
Woman: It's organic? How can it be organic? It comes out of a tube!
....
My son loves it. He doesn't cook it; he just eats it from the tube

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<em>AzurEmerald</em>- It's beautiful.

Your breath smells like mint.

Did you just say her breasts smell like mint?!
~Calc Class today

"THE TITANIC JUST HIT AN ICEBERG AGAIN! WHY DOES IT KEEP DOING THAT!!!???"
A dA journal. The chick had just watched Titanic like, 12 times in a row.

so this equation equals.... wow.. epic failure.. (the answer turned out to be 1/0)

You know what.. just go get laid.

Lari: Nefnee, you're such a whore! you get on your knees for freshman boys!

(5:34:11 PM) nefnee: feet behind ears
(5:34:22 PM) FMABoy1993: XD Steph LOVES that, huh?
(5:34:23 PM) SgtWhp: whose feet?
(5:34:38 PM) alex180193: Your mom's
(5:34:41 PM) FMABoy1993: OOOOOH
(5:34:51 PM) SgtWhp: well my mom is gay
(5:34:57 PM) FMABoy1993: XD Thank you, Richard.
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<em>AzurEmerald<?em>- Hooray!

AzurEmerald wrote:

[@ 16:37:44; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] nefnee: makes me wonder... How is it possible?
[@ 16:38:03; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] Alex180193: To not have jeans?

I guess he only has khakis and leather pants.
[@ 16:38:28; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] nefnee: and shorts
[@ 16:38:42; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] Alex180193: And sweats
[@ 16:39:02; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] nefnee: and skirts
[@ 16:39:12; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] Alex180193: And thongs
[@ 16:39:43; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] nefnee: and tights, fishnets to be precise
[@ 16:39:55; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] Alex180193: Don't forget the spandex!
[@ 16:40:26; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] nefnee: and the heels
[@ 16:40:44; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] Alex180193: The lipstick and the powder too.
[@ 16:41:49; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] nefnee: a nice tank top...
[@ 16:42:12; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] Alex180193: Hmm..... I wonder if he's gonna get a boob job anytime soon.
[@ 16:43:43; Saturday, 12-06-2008;] *** "nefnee" signed off at Sat Dec 06 16:43:42 2008.
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<em>AzurEmerald</em>- If you're curious, we were talking 'bout Kevinin

"Go Fall Down a WELL and Drown in your pittiful attemt at my humiliation.... Yes Jesus THAT well"

"And so, Princess Candy bought for her friend a chunk of fudge the size of a goat!"
-------------
"I don't want to stay here for Christmas, I just want a family..."
was misheard as
"I don't want to stay here for Christmas, I just want a sandwich..."

Sexual torture.
Is that really torture if it involves sex?

Me: Oh it makes sence it just doesn't make sence to you

_______________________________________________________

Some gay guy on my bus: *says a joke I didn't get*
Me: *shakes head*
Some gay guy on my bus: you didn't get that did you.
Me: No but I know enough that its something I don't want to know

(That gay guy being, in fact, wentworth)

Dude is your dick all the way up to your shoulder?
uh? oh no that is just my water bottle. *pulls it out from his jacket*

Some random evil guy is ranting to the hero who always stops him the evil guy then starts to pace as soon as the random evil dude turns around the hero hides behind a tree...five seconds later

random evil guy: "dude where the heck did he go?"

I'll be the only straight Male Supply Officer in the history of this unit.

"They're all miserable asses."
"Do they wipe?"

"It's fun to scar small children."
"Yes, but it's dangerous for you to take your shirt off on a moving bus."
"Yes, and- No. I won't go there. I won't talk about the patterns on your bra."
"How'd you know that there are polka dots on my bra?"
"...Jasper told me."


"You know, if Jasper were here, we could really scar them."
"No, don't have sex in front of them."
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<em>AzurEmerald</em?>- They're all Lari -> Me...

Why is it everything is about sex?

Because sex is so much better then everything else.

(6:02:11 PM) Nicki:
U said something about naked pictures with V-babe
(6:02:16 PM) Nicki:
And it startled me
(6:02:18 PM) alex180193: Wow, that was ages ago.
(6:02:25 PM) Nicki:
And made my dick sad.
(6:02:36 PM) alex180193: I'm sorry. You're lucky that you don't sit with us at lunch, then.
(6:02:50 PM) Nicki:
Yeah, I prolly am.
(6:02:50 PM) alex180193: Your penis would need some Valium everytime you came to us.....
(6:03:02 PM) Nicki:
Novacane
(6:03:30 PM) alex180193: The thing dentists inject into you? Are you sure you want a needle anywhere near that area?

Well, to each his own [fetish]

Edit:

(6:05:06 PM) alex180193: Thanks. Enjoy yourself.
(6:05:11 PM) alex180193: Tell the guy that I said hi.
(6:05:34 PM) Nicki:
What's that supposed to mean "enjoy yourself"?
(6:05:56 PM) alex180193: Just enjoy yourself.

Have fun.

You read too much into things....
(6:06:06 PM) Nicki:
xD
(6:06:09 PM) alex180193: Of course, with me, I don't blame you....
(6:06:15 PM) Nicki:
Haha.
(6:06:30 PM) alex180193: Well, have fun pleasuring yourself with him.
(6:06:37 PM) alex180193: [THAT was innuendo.]
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<em>AzurEmerald</em>- Hah. I love these conversations......

you will never get bigger boobs if you don't age.

Lari: I am getting girlified.

Me: No! Reject your inner vagina!
+-----
<em>ShadowPendant</em>- Exactly.....

Lari: Why are you the only one that talks to me?

Me: Because if I didn't, I'd also be bored and embracing your inner vagina.

I just came over.

What did you come all over?